owh need to change my self....

assalamualaikum..... once again i'm not satisfied with my blog..... owh how i need to change my attitude fast.....

suker?....

old blog, new look

Assalamualaikum................. Alhamdulillah............... setelah 1 hari setengah bertungkus lumus mengedit blog akhirnya siap jugak................. wah pnat gler nk men edit gmbr, sentuh HTML, cari web yg menyediakan design...... mmg penat lar...... nak-nak lagi ble nk usik HTML,fuh...... takut beb.......... ye la kalau hilang dh nk kena wat balik..... tp nasib bek la bnde tuh xjd kat aku..... neway, de byk lagi bnde aku nk tmbh sbnrnyer.... tp nnt la dlu..... ye la mata aku yang dh sedia rabun nie tktu la brtambh rabun lak..... huhuhuhuhuh P/S:utk makluman semua,segala yang ada didalam blog ini didapati di lmn web ini shabby blogs.......... Enjoy yer sume.......... sekian............. L.O.V.E

suker?....

what should i do???????//

assalamualaikum..... entry tergesa-gesa nieyh...... haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.............. si dia bru menghantar msg yg mengatakan bahawa familynye nak dtg umh aku................. wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh................ pe ptt aku buat nieyh????????????????? dia ckp yang umi nya nk dtg tmpah bju...... walau nk tmph bju pun still dtg kn....... arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......... aku gelabah xtntu psl dh nieyh........... tulis pun dh hlng ejaan yg btul............ weyh, pe ptt aku buat................ arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............. TIDAK................................. AKU GELABAH.......................................

suker?....

kenangan di burmese.................

assalamualaikum........................ hari ini adalah hari yang sepatutnya menjadi hari yang seronok buat ku.... semalam, aku dan kawan-kawanku telah membuat perancangan yang kami akan berkelah di air terjun.... ini kerana, kami semua sudah tidak lama berkelah dan bermandi-manda....kami semua seronok sekali membuat segala perancangan dan persiapan............... akan tetapi suatu perkara telah menghentikan segala keseronokan ku..... si dia yang amat aku sayangi menghalang aku dari pergi...... aku tidak tahu kenapa............. dia cuma berkata bahawa dia amat risaukan aku pergi ke air terjun tanpanya...... aku tidak tahu sama ada dia cuma terlalu risaukn aku ataupun dia hanya ingin mengawal pergerakkan ku...... akhirnya kau pergi juga dengan kawan-kawanku.... aku ingin sekali berseronok dengan kawan-kawanku itu........ akan tetapi jiwaku tidak tenang ketika berada disana..... aku asyik teringatkan si dia....... aku sungguh tidak sedap hati......... kerana sebelum aku bertolak dari rumah..... dia menghantar sms kepada ku mengatakan bahawa dia tidak akan makan sekiranya aku pergi juga....... aku terkedu dan secara automatiknya aku menangis...... di dalam hati aku berkata menggapa harus dia melakukan aku seperti itu?????? dia sakit,dia harus makan kerana dia perlu makan ubat...... itu yang aku beritahu pada dia....... dan aku juga berjanji akan jaga diri aku..... aku keraskan jua hatiku lalu aku pergi..... tidak lama selepas aku tiba di air terjun tersebut..... aku menerima suatu sms yang mngatakan dia pengsan..... automatiknya air mata aku menitis........ aku tahu dia pengsan kerana badannya lemah kerana dia tidak makan........... dan itu semua disebabkan aku......... keadaan itu membuatkan kawan-kawanku jadi tidak seronok...... saat itu aku terfikir...... mengapalah aku harus ikut...... jikalau kehadiran aku hanya akan membuatkn semua orang berduka....... saat itu juga kawan-kawanku mengemas barang ingin pulang....... tetapi kami tidak terus pulang, kami singgah dahulu di taman tasik..... mereka berbuat demikian untuk menenangkan fikiran dan jiwaku yang tengah berserabut..... selepas itu mereka membawa pula aku ke tempat karaoke.... untuk tujuan yang sama..... akan tetapi ada sms yang menghentikan aku..... dia meminta agar aku pulang kerumah...... jikalau aku sudah tiba dirumah baru dia hendak makan...... aku tidak ada cara lain selain membohongi dia..... aku bukan sengaja...... tapi itu untuk kebaikan dia juga......(maafkan ana) selepas aku membohongi dia aku bertanya mengapa dia tidak membenarkan aku pergi ke air terjun bersama kawan-kawanku......... rupa-rupanya dia pernah kehilangan sahabat baiknya di suatu air terjun..... seharusnya dia memberitahuku perkara yang sebenar sebelum ku membuat andaian yang bukan-bukan...... aku sayang kan dia dan aku tidak ingin sekali berprasangka kepadanya...... ABANG........ Ana mintak maaf sekiranya Ana ade menaykitkan hati abg.... Ana tak pernah bermaksud nk sakitkan hati abg...... sekali pun xpernah..... ana sayang abg.... dan ana terima apa jua yang abg bagi.... madu abg bagi, madu la bagi ana.... pahit abg bagi, pahit la bagi ana............... sekian.................

suker?....

tukar template.....

hari ini aku dah tukar template baru...... tapi ini tuk percubaan jer..... lau aku rasa xsesuai, aku tukar la lain..... huhuhuhuhu

suker?....

perkhabaran dari penang..........

salam semua.... tak de pape pun sebenarnya.. juz nak cerita pasal hari ini saje..... hari ini aku keluar dengan die, k.sue dan kery..... kiteorg plan pegi penang..... first kery suh ciap around 8, tup tup pagi tadi die kate die amek kul 9 pg.... agak marah gak la kat cituh sbb aku bangun awal pagi kot.... huhuhuhuhuh..... tapi xkisah la..... hair ini merupakan hari yang sungguh gembira bagi aku, sebab aku dapat hang out dengan die satu hari..... huhuhuhuhuhuhu......... aku hope dapat hang out lagi dengan die...... tak kisah la nak pagi mana pun..... janji aku nak kuar dengn dier lagi..... p/s:gmbr dh di upload....

suker?....

semalam dalam sejarah........

semalam, aku keluar bersama dia..... insan yang amat aku ssyang selain family aku...... pada mulanya aku amat gembira bila memikirkan aku akan keluar bersama dia..... aku tidak menyangka kegembiraan aku itu akan tergugat dengan perkara yang dia memberitahu kepadaku...... aku tergamam...... sesungguhnya aku tidak tahu apa yang seharusnya aku lakukan..... atau apa yang seharusnya aku beri sebagai tindak balas..... aku terdiam..... kerana sekiranya aku berkata-kata, aku tahu aku tidak akan dapat menyembunyikan kesedihan ku kepada dia..... aku mahu menjadi kuat untuknya..... aku mahu menjadi tabah untuknya...... aku mahu membahagiakan dia...... sehingga ke akhir hayatnya..... biarpun aku tidak tahu apa yang akan terjadi padaku sekiranya dia tidak lagi berada disampingku.... utuk memikirkanya sahaja pun, aku sudah cukup takut.... inikan pula untuk membayangkannya..... aku tidak mahu kehilangan dia..... kerana dia adalah segala-galanya bagiku.... andainya dia pergi, maka dia akan membawa seluruh jiwa ragaku bersamanya..... lalu bagaimana aku mahu hidup tanpa jiwa dan ragaku??????? oleh itu aku akan lakukan apa yang terdaya bagi ku untuk terus memastikan dia berada disampingku...... MOGA allah mendengar rintihan ku ini.... love...... lea farhana.....

suker?....

new entry.......

assalamualaikum.... dah lama rasanya sejak aku last post entry...... so banyak sangat benda yang aku nak cerita tp xtaw nk start kat mana..... actually aku bru je balik dari penang, holiday dgn family belah mak aku.... sonok gak la, g pesta penang n chocolate boutique.... tp lg best kalau die ikut skali.... tp mmg tak la..... mak aku mesti xbagi nye.... sbb yela takut ayah ak tu marah.... huhuhuhuhhhhuhu.... so aku cuti sem selama sebulan and for sure la aku akan boring... but then, his here in town... so i hope that this Semester break will not be that boring.... hehehhehhe I LOVE YOU HONEY......

suker?....

no tittle......

ari ni ak xde watpe sgt la.....

stakat smbng wat journal yg dalm mse 2 jam siap....

msg ngn abg syg....

and aslo msg ngn kakak die gak....

huhuhuhu....

pastu ak g kua mkn around kul 1.45 kot.......

ntah la sbb aku sndri xtgk jam...

hehehehehehehe

pastu kul 2 lbh la ak g practice tuk role play....

practice on our voice projection...

hehehehehehe....

the role play is just around the corner,,,

ari rabu mlm je...

hehehehehe...

tkut gler...

our group will present the tragedy of my third eye...

shasha as ah ping....

me as ah lien....

mish mshee as linda....

zahin as may yien...

shafiq as linda's father...

ieka hunny as grandma...

zac as mrs. wang....

acha as mrs lee....

ashraf as ah peck....

ahmad aizzat as millionaire....

ras as indian girl and gangster...

lala also as indian girl, gangster and maid....

can't wait for it to end....

how am i suppposed to act as an abusive mother...

but yet at the same time a 'mistress'...

well to be polite la kan./...

heheheheh

ok that all for today....

xoxo

lea farhana

suker?....

feeling so sick....

sabtu 7 november 2009 9.19 mlm. ak dh start skit.... huhuuhhuuuh... cukup xsuke ble sakit..... ak dah start dmam mlm smlm..... tu pun kwn ak yg ckap kat ak... huhuuhuhuh.... tp ri nie ak kluar jgk ngn member ak.... heheheheheh... sje maa, nak lpas tension nk hadapi exam.... but.... akibatnya ak dh tngg skrg.... hehehehehe... kpale ak dh mle pening gler... and ak still ngadap laptop... btape dgilnye ak.... hehehhee... klau la pkwe ak taw skunk, maunye kne bebel ngn die... hehehehehehehe sory la bang.... gian nk online maaaa.... hehehehe.... huhuuhu... ak kat blik sorg2... tman sblh katil ak blik umh la.... ak bosan gler kowt klau die blik... xtaw nk watpe siot..... nk kuar, dh kne band dri kuar sorg2.... ikt kte member ak sblh ktil.. ak nie dh xmcm ak yg dlu.... ak pun rse ak dh brubah gler... tp ak xtaw la tang mana yg ak brubah tu.... huhuhuhuh. k.la tu je pun ak nak ckap... sje nk update blog maaa... daaaaaa... xoxo lea farhana

suker?....

today is the day....yeahhhhhhhh

hari ini die akan sampai di malaysia.... huhuhuhuhu./... happy nye rase hati ini..... tp.... ble boleh jmpe die ek???? alamak xkkn kne tggu cuti sem bru leh jmpe die???? kmpunan la lg.... NAK BALIK!!!!!! NAK JUMPA DIE..... HUHUHUHUUHUHUH

suker?....

today is not my day....

well i went out wif 'sumone'... mmg sah la ak xnk kuar ngn die dh..... npe ak kne mrah???? kn slah die..... ak kuar pun sbb die yg suh.... bongok.... 'hey ingt ak tringin sgt ke nk kuar ngn ko.... ak kuar ngn ko pun sbb kasihan je taw.... n then ko nk mrah ak lak ble xikt ckp ko... ape ko ingt ak nie kuli ko ke??? eh ak pun taw mrah gak la...' eeeeeee gram snggh ak ngn die tu... de ke patut, die suh ak kuar pg2, ak ckp la nk kuar lmbt ckit, tp die kte die dh de kat dpn kolej... ak pun brusaha la ciap cpat nk trun cpat xnk die tggu... alih2 die ne de kat dpn kolej lg..... mati2 ak kne tipu..... mmg sah la pas nie ak xnk kuar ngn die lg....

suker?....

On The Last Day of Raya.....

On the last day of raya that is on 19 Oct 2009, KPMIM held a grand event of Raya Celebration...

Well I went there along with my two frenz.....

We had a great fun that night.....

It was one of the best night....

Why????

Simply becoz of the free goof they were giving and the performance by Ayehan....

he is one of the best singer in the college....

his voice are tremendously sweet, ok so I may exaggerate a little but hey it is really sweet....

after the eating and enjoying the performance, we decided to be a little wild....

hehehehe...

Well taking pictures, crazy pictures of course....

we really enjoying the moment coz we don't know whether we will be able to feel like this ever again.

That's we decided that it should be treasure in pictures....

and....

I HAVE PUBLISH IT IN MYSPACE AND FACEBOOK.....

YEAH YEAH YEAH....

coz i want the whole world to know how happy I am that night....

eventhough yesterday was my bad day.....

but hey that night have make up the bad day....

huhuhuuhh......

ok I think that's it for today kot....

i don't know maybe later this evening I will post another blog, who knows....

wait there someone knows about it,

only God knows about it....

ok everyone daaaaaaa from me...

May God Be with You....

xoxo

Lea Farhana

suker?....

inferiority complex.....

it's been a while since i lat updated my blog.....
well, nothink much happen lately...
just that i develop a something that called 'Inferiority complex'.....
dun know what is inferiority complex,
well you can just google it and find it out yourself...
it is actually a habit of feeling inferior to others.

i found this article and i want to share it with you guys....

Overcome inferiority Complex

Someone once said that they had an inferiority complex but it wasn't a very good one. This may be a joke but it has a serious point. If you have got into the habit of feeling inferior to others then you can literally feel inferior about anything. Feeling inferior is linked to a sense of shame about the self. A feeling that you are not 'up to the mark' or that some how you just don't cut the mustard. As human beings we are all aware of status although it's popular to pretend we don't care about status at all. We use terms like 'dis' for 'disrespect', being 'one up' or 'put down'. Where we are on the pecking order is important to us. An inferiority complex makes you constantly worry about what others think of you. Of course why shouldn't it be just important what you think of them?

Where does an inferiority complex come from?

Inferiority complexes develop from the experience of being 'brain washed' by other people. Maybe you have been unrelentingly criticized and put down by others. Some people like to squash any hint of positive self regard in others and it's easy to be influenced by such people. This session will help you move beyond such former brain washing. If you have an inferiority complex chances are you feel more comfortable spending your time with people you feel aren't too accomplished or successful or good looking or confident themselves. You probably prefer being with people who you feel aren't going to judge you too harshly.

taken from http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/downloads/self_improvement/inferiority-complex.html

suker?....

Doaku 'jika ak jatuh cinta'

petikan ini diebrikan kpd ak drpd seseorg....

Bismillahirahmannirrahim......

Ya Allah...

Jika aku jatuh cinta,

cintakannlah ak pada seseorang yang melabuhkan cintanya padamu,

agar bertambah kekuatanku untuk menyintai mu...

Ya Muhaimin,

Jika aku jatuh hati,

izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati seseorang yanghatinya tertaut padaMu,

agar tidak terjatuh aku dalam jurang cinta nafsu...

Ya Rabbana,

Jika aku jatuh hati,

jagalah hatiku padanya agar tidak berpaling daripada hatimu.....

Ya Rabbul Izzati,

Jika aku rindu,

rindukanlah aku pada seseorang yang merindui syahid di jalan mu...

Ya Allah,

Jika aku menikmati cinta kekasihmu,

jgnlah kenikmatan itu melabihi indahnya bermunajat di sepertiga malam terakhirmu....

Ya Allah,

Jika aku jatuh hati pada kekasihmu,

jgn biarkan aku tertaih dan terjatuh dalam perjalanan panjang menyeru manusia kepadaMu....

Doaku...

MOGA KITA SAMA2 BERJAYA DI DUNIA DAN DI AKHIRAT....

suker?....

feeling so so so wrong........

once again i did smthng stupid....
so stupid that i shouldn't be forgive....
i did so many sins...
but as a human we all did atleast a sin...
but what i did is much2 bigger.....

i have hurt him....
i know that i have dissapointed evryone( if they know bout it)...
but i felt very guilty is towards my God....
i know that i'm not strong to resist the temptation...
i also know that i'm not strong in facing my obstacle....

God, please forgive me for what i did...

suker?....

siapakah aku sebenarnye?????

aku keseorangan ari nie....
dan buat kesekelian kalinya ak menagis lg....
atas sebab2 yang trtentu,
ak tertanya kpd dri aku...
siapakah aku???
btul ke aku nie ank kandung mereka????
siapa sebenarnye Nur Farhana Liyana????

ari nie spatutnye ak kluar brtemu dgn rkn2 lme...
akan ttpi ak tidak dpt kluar....
ak kecewa lg....
kerana 'org itu' sudah brjnji akn mghntr ak kluar...
ak menangis disebabkn 'org itu' mungkir jnji....
mgkin org akn kta aku cengeng tp hakikatnye die sudah brjnji trlbh dahulu dgn ak.....
ak mle tringt kmbali bbrapa peristiwa yg sama trjd pd ak....
knapa????
knapa stiap kli ak mahu kluar msti tak boleh???
ak jd marah, sdh dan kecewa yg tramat sgt krna 'org itu' slalu mlebihi kn 'mereka' drpd ak....
sblm ini ak tidak ambil peduli akan hal ini krb bg aku hal ini xpntg sgt pun
smpilah suatu ari ade soerng pk cik yg mmbritahu yang aku nie sbnrnye kurang ksh syg...
ak trkjut krn die tahu ape sbnrye yg ak rsekn...

knpa 'org2 itu' harus mmbeza2kn ak ngn 'mereka'????
ak tahu ak x seperti 'mereka' yang pndai bijak yang diharap dpt mmbnggakn 'org2 itu',
tp sedarla bhwa ak juga punya perasaan...
jgn la mnyakiti ati ak lg,
sbb ak tkt nnt ak xkn ade ati lg untk 'kamu' sakiti....

bnde yg sme juga ak rsekn stiap kli ak di kolej....
perbezaan yg ketara antra ak dan rakan2....

ak xsecantik dan sefamous Dira,
ak x sprti Acha dan Ruheil yang baik dan lmah lmbut,
ak xsebijak dan sepandai BBY dan Z,
ak juga xseaktif lala,
dan ak juda xsperti Ieqa Hani yg bijak berniaga....
jd SIAPAKAH AK yang sbnrnye????

apkah ak nie hanya melukut ditepi gantang?????
yang langsung tidak dipandang oleh org lain????

masihkah ade seseorang yg menyayangi ak seikhlasnye????
MASIHKAH??????

apakh takdir ku yg sbnarnye??????
APAKAH?????

masihkah ak pnye kluarga???
Masihkah?????

suker?....

need to find my heart back........

this is the first day i'm back in my hometown.
on the back to tepeng, in the bus i was thinking about my feelings to him....
the whole journey i was thinking about that.
i try to find my feeling back then suddenly i realize my feeling is empty....
i heart is empty....
what happen????? i ask myself.....

i recall back when is the last time we see each other and talk to each other..
well yesterday he did call me just to wish me a safe journey home and ask me to take care of myself, just that....
my heart ache....
i talk to my friends bout this and even they notice that i and him are drifted away from each other.....

somehow i can't just feel his love to me anymore and vice versa....
is it too much to ask for him to give a little bit more attention towards me????
over this period of time, i often go out and hang with my friends and suddenly i started to become the old me...
the one that does not have commitment with any guys and the one that can easily be friends with guys......
why is it happen???

i check back my heart, and then one of my friends told me that actually i'm lonely....
my heart is lonely, even i'm being surrounded by my friends but the truth is i'm lonely in terms of my relation with him....
that's why, i ask him to come back, it just that i need to feel his atmosphere here in Malaysia.
i know people will call me an attention seeker, selfish but i need that just to keep my heart stand still to him...

abg if you read this, i'm trully sorry. i doesn't want to loose you but i can't feel anything. help me please.....

suker?....

my heart hurt.....

i'm at my hometown now....
as usual I open my facebook to check on all my frenz....
suddenly I saw sumthng that make me smile....
but then that smile fade away as I go through the pics...
why?only that pop up in my mind...
I feel like crying....
I know that I'm less important in that group but atleast don't hurt me like this...
I always believe that, a picture can tell a story....
and it seems to me it is true....
maybe other people see it as juz a pic but nuot for me..
it's like a knife that slice my heart slowly.....
maybe it's a sign for me to pull myself away from that group...
farewell my dear group,'u' sure show me a lot in life...
'u' teach me to be strong physically and mentally...
it's time for me to bid farewell...
and thank you very much for 'your' teached...

suker?....

as time passes by.....

life is unfair rite????
do I really have the right to say that after what I've done?????
still this is what I fell....

he sick again....
this time it's getting worst according to what he said but I really hope that it is not true....
yesterday, his brother texted me saying that he has been uncounscious for two hours....
at the moment I read that text, I was fell down to the ground....
I don't know what to do at that moment....
in my heart I was praying that he will regain he conscious soon and Alhamdullillah he did after that...
I called him not long after that, asking him what has happened...
as usual he said to me 'don't worry'....

later that night, i received a text...
I didn't realise that text until i received a call from him...
he said that his brother has send a text...
saying that he's involve in an accident...
it was 4.30 in the morning....
only God know what i felt at that time.....
after i received his called, i couldn't sleep until know.....

now it is 3.59 in the evening...
i'm at the cafe rite now....
waiting for him to on his YM....
it's the only way we can communicate rite now....
i've sent a text asking him to online...
but still he does not online until now....
i was so damn worried bout him....
but i don't wanna push him...
i know he must have his reason for not to online....

i love him more than he know....
but before this i have asked him to leave me...
in my last entry i wrote that i have did something that is so terrible that i shouldn't be forgiven...
that's why i said that to him...
eventhough he said he wont leave me...
i feel so embarassed to him...
i don't know how i wanna face him...
i have betrayed him...
i have betrayed his trust in me...
i have betrayed my promises to him...
i felt like a bitch, slut and other words that have the same meaning....
he deserve sumbody that better than me....
i feel if i still have him by my side it was like i'm torturing him....
if sumthing HAPPEN i'm surely would ask him to leave me...
but up until now nothing happen and i hope that incident wouldn't leave me with anything....

for all the girls outthere be carefull with everyone....
especially with guys....
appreciate your life and your dignity...
don't let go it easily....

suker?....

my worst nightmare......

ari nie adlh ari yg plng ak xske....
ari trjad 1 pristiwa yg mne ak akn ingti nya smpai ble-ble...
peristiwa yg ak mmg xkn lpe...
peristiwa itam yg mne ak hdpinya buat kli ke2....
cme peritiwa nie lg bsar je dri yg lpas.....
ak btul2 mnyesal....
peristiwa nie btul2 mengingatkn ak siapa ak yg sbnrnye...
ak sdar ak dh trlalu lme idup dlm keadaan lalai...
alpa...
leka degan keduniaan...
hgga trlpe dgn dunia akhirat....
btul la stiap peristiwa yg brlaku tu ada hikmah nye....
mgkin nie cru tuhan tuk sdrkn dri ak yg leka dan byk brdosa nie....
ak akn mulekn idup bru...
sbg hambanya yg taat...
insyaallah...
doakn la agar ak btul2 brubh....
wlaupun agak trlmbt tp nie la azam ak selain mmbhgiakn ibu bapa ak...

suker?....

one day in college.......

I'm back to the college once again...
huhuhuhuhuhh
not really happy n not really sad....
the point is I don't know what the heck I'm feeling right now....
it feels like sumthing is not right....
like sumthing bad is going to happen....
hurm........
seriously....
that's why I'm writing an entry today.....
hope sumone can help me here......
hope there' sumbody that can comfort me....
huhuhuhuhuhu.....

please.........

suker?....

see how borink I am today......

this is the secong time I'm writting in my blog...
bkn ke nmpk sgt aku nie dh borink thp gaban....
arghhh ak xnk blik kolej mlm nie......
npe ek ak rse xsdap ati,aku rse cm de bnde buruk je akn jd.....
OMG hope it's not about my Bf....
pliz god don't let sumthing bad happen to him....
seriously, i don't what else to write anymore....
arghhhh...............
oh yeah, tdd de sorg mamat tu anta msg kat aku,mne die dpt no bru aku pun aku xtaw....
eh sdar la dri tu,aku xnk kat ko la.....
even lau aku xde Bf skrng nie pun aku xkn pilih ko la....
don't ask me why...
you know why.....
it's becoz u already have a WIFE n KIDS........
n I DON'T WANNA GET INVOLVE WITH YOU ANYMORE.....
PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE YOU ******.......

suker?....

borink day.....

aku tak taw nk wat pe ri nie....
dh la ri nie ari last aku kat umh...
mlm satg nk blik phng dh...
rrrgggghhhh bosannye....
nk ajk member aku transport lak tak de,.
takkn la aku nk gune kete sepupu aku lak,mmpus aku lau pape jadi kat kete die...]
oh eah, btw aku ngah chat ngan BF aku skrng nie...
die kate die nk pegi chek pale die kat hsptl, hopefully la de briter bek...
ak ngan die dh xsggup nk dgr briter buruk dh...
aku doa sgt2 die ok...
sbb ak xnk khlngn die n ak harap die pun mcm tu gak....
eh aku lupe beg ak xkmas lg....
nk out la nk kne kmas beg nnt de bnde tggl ssah ak...
perak ngan phng bknyer dkat...
k daaaaa sume....

suker?....

hate my life so badly.......

why my life is like this???

why????????

rite now I just hate my life so badly....
Am i don't deserve to be happy with someone that i love????
why do you have to take it away from me????
WHY???????
if we just break up, then it is ok for me becoz atleast I know that he will live his life happily...
but I just can't take it if you take him away from me forever,atleast not now...
not when we are planning to get married, not when I just found him back, not when we just about to be happy....

I know other people will said that better he leave me now than after we married....
but not for me..
I need him by my side,his my strength and I'm his strength..
I now that I should be strong for him but rite now I just want to cry my heart out so that I won't cry when I meet him( if I have the chance to meet him again).

I love him,I never love a human being like I love him.. besides my parents, I really need him in my life... I couldn't live without him..sumtimes I just wish that I'm the one that sick...I'm wiling to exchange with him if I can...I want to see him live a happy life...just let me be the one who suffers...

Ya Allah, jgn pisahkan kami sblm sampai wktunye Ya Allah...

suker?....

H1N1

kolej ak dh kne kuarantin selama 5 hari disebabkan ade pelajar yg di suspek manghidapi H1N1..kteorg xleh kua....bnde nie xde gngu ak sgt pun, tp ak sian kat bdk-bdk yg kne susek tue..sian ow kat dieorg...dh la sakit,xleh kua jmpe kwn-kwn,kne dok satu tmpt ngn org sakit je...pergerakan pulak di perhatikan oleh warden2...sian korg tp xpe nie pun tuk kebaikan korg gak...semoga korg cepat sembuh k....

rmai-rmai kte tggu keputusan pemeriksaan darah tu ari selasa nie.samada positive ataupun negtive...

WAITING.......

suker?....

kehidupan......

apakah yang di maksudkan dengan kehidupan??????
perlukah setiap manusia diduga???

npe hidup ak mcm nie...ak xtaw brape lme lh ak dpt brthn dgn godaan...tp ak cbe sedaya upaya ak...die sakit lg.....I really wish that I am there so that I can take care of him...
but I'm not...right now I can pray for him, hoping that he will get well soon enough...
I need him by my side....with my condition right now, I really need him besides my famly n frenz...sumtimes life can be as calm as the water or the wind dan hidup kte jgak kdg-kdg bleh diduga dgn dugaan yg hebat sehebat taufan....

i just hope that my life wouldn 't be tested so hard....

suker?....

suker?....

NOBODY WILL EVER UNDERSTAND……….

AHAD,5/7/2009

Last entry ak kat dlm blog nie hari rabu yg lepas tp ak pdm blik atas sbb2 trtentu…
Hari nie my parent pg ke Medan ikt rombongan PLUS, n ak rse saat nie emosi ak btul2 trggu..ak asyk rse nk mnangis dan ak asyik tringtkn peristiwa hitam 2…ak btul2 xbleh trime…kdng2 ak rse cm nk bunh dri pun de gak tp ak msh siuman…rite now, ak dh de kat kolej dh,wlaupun ak dklilingi kwn2 n senior yg ok tp ak rse kesorngn sgt…ak rse xde spe yg dpt phm ak ckunk….wlaupun kwn2 ak bg smgt kat ak tp ak rse ak idup dlm dunia nie sorg2 je…wlaupun ak cbe luahkn prasaan ak kat kwn yg ak percayai, kaunselor ak tp ak msh kesorngn… sbb bg ak xde sorng pun phm pe yg ak lalui sbnrnye…ak cbe jgk ikuti kursus fasilitator nie dgn harapan agar ak dpt lpekn sgala-galanya tp nmpknye mkin truk....stiap hari ak tringt kn ksah tue..ble ak tringt ak mle nk menangis…ak xdpt jd kuat mcm org ckp sbb hakikatnye ak mmg xkuat…ak tkt memikirkn ape yg akn jd lpas nie…adkh idup ak akn normal cm org lain gak ble dieorg dpt taw ape yg trjd kat ak????jwpn die x….skrng pun ak rse cm org pndng ak smcm je..ak rse dri ak nie kotor, mnjijikn….ak xdpt nk ubh blik kpd dri ak yg dlu..yg hepi, ske glak n yg rse cm xde mslh 2…skrng wlaupun ak brgelak ngn org lain kat, tp tue sume hnya skdr utk menutup prasaan ak yg sbnrnye agar xde spe pun yg taw…tp hakikatnye kat dlm, ak menangis sndrian…ak taw ak de byk tmpt tuk luahkn prasaan tp sume cre tue xmgkin akn dpt kmbalikn ak yg lu lg…ak wat kptsn lpekn peristiwa hitam yg ak hadapi dlu…ak taw ak dh mnyusahkn rmai org tp tue je cre yg ak nmpk sbg escapism ak….

ORANG LAIN TIDAK AKAN PAHAM APE YANG AKU RASAKAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wlaubgaimanapun mereka mncuba…….

suker?....

sad day today....

dear lovera....

It's a sad day today, coz tonight I've to go back to my college in Phng ..It's not that I don't like going back but the thing is I've just find out that he is sick again...oh god, why this is have to happen to us?? what we've done wrong to receive all this????and why him??? maybe it's my fault... maybe it's a sign that say I don't deserve him...I'm not a good girl...I'm a bad girl...he's to good for me..but I love him..I really do.. oh no,I'm crying right now...why is this tears have to come down....what should I do now???I don't want to lose him again...N I won't...I will everything n anything just to keep him with me..I'm not going to give up yet...where's there a will,there's a way...

XOXO

suker?....

Yesterday....

Dear Lovera....

well, yesterday finally I met all my frenz back after we all further our studies. ..we've met at the SMDB'Hari Kantin'....It was full of laughter, excitement, n of course hug n kisses not to metion a lot of noises also... It's like a reunion except it is not a formal one... gosh I miss all of my frenz, they the one that help me gone through my high school life...we shared each happiness n sadness, we fought like a kid,hehehe but it's something for us to remember our high school life..after yesterday I don't know when will I see all of my frenz back, maybe on my wedding day? hehehehe... well that's another story...I miss my school, my teachers,my frenz, my juniors, my seniors and other things... they all the one that introduce me to a new world that is a world of frienship..I won't forget my frenz no matter what..if not becoz of them i wouldn't be where I am right now....

P/S: below are the pictures that I manage to capture yesterday....

suker?....

Transformers: revenge of the fallen..

dear....

juz got back from watching transformer at Taiping Central..at first i don't wanna go, well simply becoz first it is not my typr of film and second my lil bro force me to go with him.... but then when the film started to roll, my first impression about the movie was totally wrong... I began to like that movie..in fact i keep sayiong that the movie is a great movie..it was worth it for me to go and watch it though i was been force by my lil bro...

I really like Optimus Prime...He's one great autobots..hehehehehe....i recommend to you guys this movie..go and watch it..it be worth it...trust me...

until next episode of my life...
XOXO

suker?....

Yea2 Dapat Baju Baru.....

dear.....

Seperti yang tertera kat atas 2, dgn sonoknyer ak nk bgtaw ak beli baju baru...

hahahahahahaha

lihat la dunia aku dapat bukan 1,bukan 2 tapi tiga baju baru....2 bju mom blikan 1 lagi bju mom yg buatkan(my mom ske sgt bli bju kat sy,xpyh sruh pun taw) thnx mummy...
u're d best mom that I've ever wanted....

Tpkn.......


(timbul kerisauan) adakah 'org itu' akan approve baju2 aku 2? 2 la bli bju xingt kat die tp....
npe msti ak pakai cm len lau ak ngan die? npe ak x leh pkai je pkaian yg slalu ak pkai?

'ak taw npe Farhana, sbb die xske..'

tp ne taw die ske ke? bek ak try pkai n tnye die.

'Farhana, die 2 dak alim taw, blaja kat syria. kau pun taw die amek pe kn. abs 2 kau rse die akn approve ke?'

ala kau nie spoil la, atleast bg la smgt kat ak ke, ape ke tuk ak tnjk kn dri ak yg sbnarnyer kat die,not that i'm not being myself when i'm wif him juz that it's my attire, my style. I don't know whether he can accept it or not...

'okla2, ak support kau. tp lau die x approve gak, ak akn kte one thing je'

pe die?

'ak dh ckp dh'

ha?&*^%$#@ xgne pnye kata hati....but still i have to do this...






p/s: I dunno what's the significant of this photo with this entry, i juz like this pic...

suker?....

bored to death.....

I'm so bored here at home...I miss college, the atmosphere and of course my frenz there...

hmmmmm :(.. Plus there's no one to acoompany me here back at home...
everyone is busy with their studies...arggghhhhhhhh...


n of course my baby is not here...baby when r u coming back???
I miss u like crazy....this song remind me of him
Isn't he's cute when holding that kid?
why you have to go studiy abroad?
you left me behind,talking once a while seem not enough to me..
huaaaaahhhhhhhh

suker?....

Brita dri Kmntng...

Today I want to tell you guys something...There's a conflic now in Kmntng. 16 people have injured severely within this two days. It's freaking me out man..I've planned with my frenz to hang out but due to this incident I have to cancel our plan. Hey, we don't want to get kill. Well I hope the goverment will do something about this...

P/S: Below is the news article from Harian Metro Online...



Ejekan berdarah

Oleh Mohd Husni Mohd Noor dan Yahya Awangam@hmetro.com.my

TAIPING: Ejekan berdarah! Itu mungkin perkataan tepat menggambarkan punca berlakunya pergaduhan antara dua kumpulan lelaki termasuk beberapa remaja yang akhirnya menyebabkan 16 orang daripada mereka mengalami cedera di badan akibat dilibas parang dan senjata tajam.Dalam kejadian di sebuah kafe siber di Lorong Teratai, Kamunting Jaya, malam kelmarin, semua mereka dikejarkan ke Hospital Taiping (HT) bagi mendapatkan rawatan dan sehingga semalam hanya lapan masih dirawat termasuk seorang remaja berusia 16 tahun yang ditempatkan di unit rawatan rapi (ICU).Remaja berusia 16 tahun yang hanya dikenali sebagai Abdullah mengalami cedera parah di kepala dan kedua-dua tangan dipercayai terkena libasan parang.Sehingga semalam, lapan daripada kumpulan ganas yang berusia antara 16 hingga 26 tahun itu masih dirawat di HT manakala yang lain sudah dibenarkan pulang selepas mendapat rawatan sebagai pesakit luar.

Ketua Polis Daerah Taiping, Asisten Komisioner Raja Musa Raja Razak, berkata kejadian bermula pada jam 9.30 malam apabila dua kumpulan itu mula mengunjungi sebuah kafe siber di Lorong Teratai, Kamunting Jaya sebelum berlaku episod ejek mengejek antara mereka.
Beliau berkata, gara-gara tidak berpuas hati dengan ejekan itu, beberapa anggota geng remaja itu menampar beberapa anggota kumpulan yang lain menyebabkan suasana menjadi kecoh sehingga berlaku kejadian berbalas penampar.“Keadaan menjadi tidak terkawal menyebabkan salah seorang geng remaja itu menghubungi anggota lain yang datang dengan bersenjatakan parang.“Remaja yang bersenjatakan parang itu bertindak ganas dengan mengamuk dan melibas parang serta senjata tajam kepada anggota kumpulan yang dipercayai menampar rakannya itu,” katanya, semalam.Katanya, sejurus menerima maklumat, sepasukan polis dikejarkan ke tempat kejadian dan bertindak segera mengawal pergaduhan dengan bantuan daripada polis Kuala Kangsar, Kerian, Selama, Ipoh dan daerah lain berhampiran.Raja Musa berkata, sehubungan itu, polis memberkas tiga lelaki berusia antara 21 hingga 26 tahun dan mereka akan disiasat mengikut Seksyen 324 Kanun Keseksaan.Malah, polis juga sudah mengenal pasti anggota dua kumpulan berkenaan yang disyaki terbabit dalam pergaduhan itu dan akan memberkas mereka dalam masa terdekat.Tinjauan Harian Metro di tempat kejadian semalam mendapati, terdapat beberapa kesan tompokan darah di hadapan kafe siber berkenaan.

suker?....

wassup guys....

Phew...

It's been a tiring day(Is it? oh well). I just got back from kedah. I went there to visit my sister at matrix Kedah and also my father who has been transfered there...Nothink fun to said here juz wanted to write( to keep my mind from rusting, hehehehe). Oh yeah, I juz bought a new book from PTS One entitle Hai Suria from Farihah Iskandar. I love books from Farihah. If I'm not mistaken I have bought all the book that she wrote. Her books capture my attention, her language, the story itself has already blend with my soul. I can't wait for her next book.

P/S: This is my picture, so how do I dress up? Is it ok?

suker?....

Wanna go out....

I wanna go out today but I don't have my frenz to go out with...

I don't want to go out alone,it's not fun...

hmmmmmm.....

suker?....

new thing.....

Well, I've juz finish adding new things in my blog... Nothing happen in my life yet but hey it's still early to see anything happen. ok see u guys sson enough ok....

bye.....

suker?....

Looking for somebody.....

Right now, I'm searching for my childhood frenz. His name is Taufik(at least thats what I remember). His mother own a bakery shop at Kajang. His mother bakery is the best bakery in Kajang. Lately his name always pop up in my mind. Actually I miss him so much as he is my childhood frenz. We always do things together until my parents moved to Perak. Since then we lost contact, so now I want to find him back. I juz wanna meet him back after lost contact him for years. So if anobody know a guy name Taufik, age 19, live in Kajang and his mother own a bakery shop, pliz tell me ok. Even better if Taufik himself read this blog. Gosh I miss him badly....

P/S: Abg don't be jealous ok, he's juz a frenz

suker?....

I'm sorry and forget me....

After a few months of breaking up with Zaim,he text me back and i entertain him bcoz we've made an agreement that we are friend eventhough we have broke up(I know it is cruel to do this but hey, I don't wanna lose a fren). I'm ok with the fact that we are fren n still texting each other,he even ask me about his option of entering university and I thought that he is fine with the fact that we're already broke up but then it seems to me that he still can not stand the fact that I'm no longer his GF. He keep texting about how hurt he is, and the most famous word he text me is that 'I cannot live without you'. How typical. For a moment, I can still endure with it, I keep telling him that we are not meant to be together, so on and so forth, but he continue to such an annoying guy.




For Zaim, I know that you're hurt but that does not give you the license to be annoying ang i'm trully sorry for what i've done to you. I never meant to hurt you, trust me. It's been my pleasure of knowing you and you're such a wonderful guy. I will treasure all the sweet memories that we've made eventhough my heart never does belongs to you. You deserve a better girl,Zaim. Forget me to forgot your wound.

suker?....

It's getting worst n worst

I have another fight wif my fwen(ain). I never been this mad at my fwen. Actually I'm sad and dissappointed wif her coz she has neglected her fwenz for a guy... At first I'm ok with it but then she started to change, and I started to hate her. Well not hate actually, I juz wanted her to pay more attention towards her fwenz that's all. she doesn't hang out wif me nor other fwenz. We have already talk to her about this and she said she was sorry but it only last for like 5 minutes. Then she did it again.

aaargghhhh

Gurl, wake up!!!! You only know that guy about 3 months and you treated him like you know him longer than you know us. We have been your fwenz from the moment you step your feet in the college, dear.... Wake up dear, he's not going to help you if anything happen to you at the hostel. It's we that you'll be looking for.. Honey, we miss you, come back to us. We miss our old days, our happy days without a person called ****. I'm talking on behalf of all our fwenz. Come back to us ok..

suker?....

I'm sorry :-(

It's been a while since I last post my blog.. I hv poblem on keep up my blog,but at least I try to keep it update as hard as I can. well this time I hv poblem wif myself and one of my frenz.. I love her so damn much(as a fren ok!) but lately I realize that I've always being cynical to her. really, I dun know y? I know dat she know I've being cynical wif her but still she keep patient wif me. I felt terrible. I wanna to apologize but it seem my mouth won't cooperate wif me...wat should I do??? I don't wanna lose her. she's my best buddy in college. Dira, I'm so so so so sorry.. u know I love you so much.. I'm very stupid to do dat to you...hope you will forgive my stupidity.....I know deep down you hurt wif my action, I try to change.I promise, I try extra extra hard to change.

Isn't she's cute????

suker?....